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Britney Spears Takes Whatever She Can Get

As the battle for custody of her children heats up, Britney Spears is facing all sorts of lascivious allegations, including one rumor that claims that the pop princess is into girl-on-girl action.

Britney Spears long ago proved she’s not innocent, but now she’s being hounded by talk of topless sex trysts and girl-on-girl action as her ex-hubby turns up the heat in their nasty custody fight.

The pop star has been having bisexual romps with her pretty 21-year-old assistant Shannon Funk, according to an article set for publication in OK! magazine. Her alleged torrid makeout sessions could spell trouble for Spears, who is desperate to prove she’s a good mom as ex-husband Kevin Federline lines up witnesses to say otherwise.

Witnesses told OK! the one-time Mousketeer’s latest walk on the wild side happened last month, just moments after college boy toy Matt Encinias claims a drunk and topless Spears came on to him in a rooftop pool.

“That boy who claims he went back to hang out with Britney and hook up with her? No, that’s not what happened,” a close friend of Spears said. “Instead of hooking up with him, [Funk] ended up back in Brit’s room and bed.”

While Funk denies being amorous with Spears, she’s not bashful about her feelings toward the entertainer.

“I love that girl,” she told OK! “I will do what I can to protect her.”

First of all, who cares if she has sex with women? So does every other 20-something girl who hits the club scene. If it’s happening in middle America, why does it surprise anyone if it happens in Los Angeles? But more importantly, my guess is that Britney isn’t so much bisexual as she is desperate for affection from anyone or anything. Man, woman, alligator, fuzzy pillow, bag of Cheetos, she’ll take it. And sure, it’s probably kind of disconcerting to see her snuggling with a bedside table, but who the hell really understands rich people anyway?

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Britney Spears Takes Whatever She Can Get